Self-love isn’t something that came easily for me. My self-esteem has always been
extremely low and there has always been this need for constant reassurance and
validation. I remember back in my early days of college when everyone else seemed
to be living this perfect life, all I had in mind were disasters. Everyone had perfect
grades, amazing “glow-ups” and wonderful relationships. Everyone looked so happy
and were actually thriving in life. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that they were
happy. But it always made me wonder, why couldn’t I be like them? Happy?
“Where did I go wrong to be this sad?”
Time went by, and I was slowly starting to get sick of life. Life didn’t feel the way it
was supposed to. All that pain had slowly built up, I had never felt worse. I had failed
to get into bachelors, my love life needed some serious saving and not even my
friends could give me whatever it was that I was looking for. I was exhausted. I
wanted to get out of here. I needed an escape. And that is precisely what I got- an
escape to the land of kangaroos and koalas.
My family and I normally go on vacation during summer, and I shit you not, it’s
always the Philippines. But this summer was different. I wanted to do something for
myself. This vacation was going to be for me. So I made a deal with my parents and
convinced them to let me go to Australia alone. And that was it. I packed my bag,
grabbed my essentials, and hopped on the next flight to Australia. I didn’t even tell
any of my friends. Ten whole days by myself, falling in love with this country that I
had always wanted to visit. From five days in Melbourne to five in Sydney, it was a
much-needed holiday. This entirely different change in my surroundings; away from
the busy, high-pressured environment - it was like a dream. This trip with myself
made me recognise that there is so much more to life than all the “disasters” I had
been allowing to consume my happiness. Sometimes a break is all you really need.
After all, you cannot heal in the same environment where you got sick.
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