More to Life Than "Him"

我覺得做人的確是要靠自己。

We were together for almost a year. Like every young relationship, everything seemed so perfect. Back then, he was still studying in London, so the only time we met was when he came back for holidays. But despite it being a long-distance relationship, I never felt like I was alone. There’s just something so weirdly special about long-distance relationships. It’s like they’re always with you by your side, no matter how far they could be.

Many nights we spent talking for hours and hours like two maniacs who didn’t know what sleep was. Now that I think about it, it’s actually funny how lost you can be in someone and yet feel like they’re the only home you have.

Like every seemingly perfect relationship, red flags started appearing. He began questioning our relationship. He would question the legitimacy of “us” and say how this was all just a fairy tale that would never come true. Each and every negative word would feel like a cut wound. And instead of questioning him, I started hating myself. I started thinking it was my fault, I wasn’t enough, I was doing something wrong.

Then one night, he decided to just end it all. He said he didn’t believe in us and the only words he could utter out of his mouth were... “I never loved you.” Just like that, he left me with a dagger in my heart, only to be healed by pain and time.

The actual problem wasn’t him leaving but rather how I had allowed myself to be so attached and vulnerable to this human being that my world without him felt so lost and empty. It was as if there was no hope or meaning for me to carry on living.

Time has passed and so has the pain. I’ve grown and become so much stronger. All thanks to him!

By the end of the day, the only things I can say are.

There is so much more to life than just “him”.

And if you yourself can’t complete you. Nobody else can either.