Running away from my family and home was one of the most painful but also life-defining things I could have ever done.
I grew up in a conservative Muslim family where religion and traditional values were of greater worth than anything else. Despite growing up in a Muslim household, I excelled in Cantonese and Mandarin.
Soon I found myself majoring in Chinese at Beijing Normal University. After finishing my bachelors my parents started talking about marriage. I asked them to allow me to finish my M.ED which I went on to do so at HKU. My parents hoped that if they met my wishes, I would meet theirs by marrying a suitor chosen by them.
At age 24 I had started working as a teacher and my parents started pushing me to get married to this man they had found for me from Pakistan. I was always taught to obey and respect my parent's decisions but forced arranged marriage seemed absurd as if I was being sent to life prison with this man I had never met or known. I was in panic, worried and in dread about what was to be of my future. But one thing was for sure, if I didn’t take action now, I could regret for the rest of my life.
At age 25 not knowing what else I could do, I ran away from my family and home. With Allah in my heart and by my side, I prayed that he would guide the way for me in this struggle for my freedom. The night I ran away, there were a million thoughts and emotions going on inside me, burning like an overheating cauldron. It was a painful journey but today I am thankful that I chose to fight for myself over the horrifying life of having to live under the shadow of a man I didn’t know or love. I’m grateful to god and proud to be an independent and strong woman who can stand up on her own two feet.
I am lucky enough to have escaped forced arranged marriage, but I want the world to know that there are so many misfortunate brown girls out there who fail and fall prey to this. I am sick and disgusted by this narrow mindset that a daughter is a burden until marriage. That a daughter’s only use is her H.K permanency for some guy in the homeland. That a daughter is disgraceful if she doesn’t marry according to the family’s choice. Change is needed!
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